The Dream Chasing Opportunity Cost

Or how much does chasing The Dream cost?

Ideas on pursuing our individual dreams, not The Dream. Learning to hear our inner voice to guide us toward them while filtering out the noise of modern society’s dream pushers.


Hi,

It’s been a minute since the last issue. Each year it seems to take me a bit of time to get back in the swing of things after the holidays.

As always, thanks for being along for the ride!

I’ve been thinking about how much chasing The Dream costs. I’ve also been thinking about how much NOT chasing The Dream costs.

Chasing The Dream costs us dearly. It costs us our true self.

We may be well-compensated financially for complying with The Dream. Yet we pay dearly from a human perspective.

We rob ourselves of the opportunity to realize our full potential.

This feels like a huge price to pay for The Dream. So from this perspective, chasing The Dream is VERY, VERY expensive.

Yet we fool ourselves into believing that chasing The Dream is rewarding us. We use the financial gain The Dream provides to trick ourselves into believing this delusion. We numb ourselves to The Dream Chasing opportunity cost.

We do this by taking expensive vacations, consuming The Dream’s status symbols that the Dream Pushers convince us we need.

Maybe we use the money to buy increasingly expensive booze. That way we can consume increasing quantities of it. Then convince ourselves it’s OK to do so, since it’s “fine” wine or liquor, consumed with expensive meals in socially acceptable places. That's what I did for a long time.

It’s this opportunity cost that’s tragic, though. We sell ourselves, our wellbeing, our souls, when we chase The Dream.

The Dream is so embedded in our society that NOT pursuing it feels risky. It can be expensive from a financial perspective. We wonder how we’ll survive financially by not playing the game.

I lived this. I still am to some extent.

My income took a big hit when I got off The Dream train. I didn’t do it completely willingly.

It took an uncomfortable push for me to get off that train. I had to invest earnings from living The Dream into Just Rolling with It to pursue my dreams. It was an uncomfortable and scary time.

Income has started recovering over the past couple years. I feel grateful for this.

Yet I still don’t feel “in the clear” or that I’ve “made it” by any means. Income on The Dream’s path can and often is unpredictable. It still feels scary at times.

As our son gets older, I sometimes till wonder if I should have “sucked it up” and lived The Dream for our family’s future. Wouldn't that have been the "responsible" thing to do?

Yet I’ve also learned the other side of pursuing my dreams, not The Dream. I feel hopeful, optimistic and excited.

I’m able to show up as a better version of me for my family each day. I’ve relearned how valuable human connection and the interconnection it fosters is.

To me this is priceless. The Dream could never pay me enough to buy this. Not experiencing these things was my Dream chasing opportunity cost.

How about you? What’s your Dream chasing opportunity cost?

Let me know by replying to this email. I respond to every reply.

Catch you next week,

Chris

P.S. - Need a refresher on what The Dream’s all about. Here’s a good place to start.


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Current Reading List

Cryptography: A Very Short Introduction by Fred C. Piper

The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World by Dalai Lama XIV, Desmond Tutu, Douglas Carlton Abrams

Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke

Current Playlist

Check out my Soundcloud profile for more music.

2019's Top 10 Dream Chasing Issues

These are the ten most popular Just Rolling with It issues of 2019

Hi,

I started compiling this list last year. It was well received so I thought I’d do it again 😊

Plus, compiling this list helps me reflect back on the year. It helps me understand what topics resonate most with you.

So without further introduction, here are the ten most popular Just Rolling with It issues of 2019 🎉

10.  The Dream Goes Global

9.  The Dream is a Trap

8.  Imposter Syndrome and the Gatekeepers

7.  There's that Shaky Feeling Again

6.  Leaving the Hustle Behind Again

5.  A Dispatch from Dreamland

4.  I Can't Keep Doing This for That Long

3.  A Dream Reader

2.  Pushing the Dream for Generations

1.  Forget Time, Attention is Our Most Valuable Asset

Sending my best wishes to you and yours for a happy and healthy 2020 🙏

Catch you in a couple weeks,

Chris

P.S. Invite your friends to pursue their dreams, not The Dream, by sharing this post with them.

Share Just Rolling with It

Photo of the Week

Check out all my photos on VSCO.

Current Reading List

Cryptography: A Very Short Introduction by Fred C. Piper

The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World by Dalai Lama XIV, Desmond Tutu, Douglas Carlton Abrams

Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke

Current Playlist

Check out my Soundcloud profile for more music.

The Dream Pushers' Holiday

Note: Starting this week, I’ve switched the newsletter from Revue to Substack. I use Substack for other newsletters. I like it’s simplicity. Plus it’s free 🙂

Using Substack’s also going to make restarting the JRWI podcast easier. Stay tuned for more on that 📻

You don’t have to do anything to stay subscribed. You’ll now simply receive the newsletters from Substack instead of Revue. You can now find the full JRWI newsletter archive on Substack too.


Hi,

It’s holiday season ❄️

The Dream Pushers are working overtime.

Is there anything more artificially engineered than the holiday sales cycle?

Black Friday deals bleed into Cyber Monday deals. Then there’s Giving Tuesday to make everyone feel better about indulging themselves on gifts they bought themselves on Black Friday and Cyber Monday 😇

Every merchant I can think of is convinced this is a make or break cycle. They dutifully jump onto the bandwagon and start sending Black Friday teasers earlier and earlier in November each year.

Even the fact I capitalize these shopping “events” has me scratching my head.

Then the sales pretty much stop until Christmas. If you were unfortunate to miss the sales, you’re paying full price with hefty shipping costs to meet your “shopping list deadlines”.

By this point, the Dream Pushers have convinced us that we HAVE to buy SOMETHING for a certain list of people. Because we’re convinced of this, we justify spending full prices for that SOMETHING, to “check that person off our list.”

Then we exchange our SOMETHINGs with the people on our list. We’ll probably get SOMETHING they bought us in return. If we gauged right, the value exchange is about even. This way nobody feels slighted.

Then the sales start again!

They start December 26th, THE DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS!

Because we had to buy all the required gifts by December 25th, we had to pay full or close to full price. Now that The Dream Pushers have pushed us to do this, they drop prices, so we can KEEP SPENDING…

By now they’ve locked us into a head spinning month of spending and consumption.

We’ve given stuff to people. We’ve received stuff in return. Then we start thinking about how we’re going to unload the stuff we’ve received, yet don’t want. Who knows, maybe there’s even a white Lexus SUV with red bow in our driveway 🙂

At this point, The Dream Pushers have accomplished their mission. They’ve spun us into this consumption cycle. They’ve pushed us into pushing ourselves to buy and exchange a pile of stuff. Then we’re left figuring out what to do with it, while The Dream Pushers tally their clients’ e-commerce sales receipts.

Tis’ the season 🌲

Catch you next week,

Chris

P.S. Invite your friends to pursue their dreams, not The Dream, by sharing this post with them.

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P.P.S. If you connected with this issue’s message and you’re not subscribed yet, please subscribe for free.

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Current Reading List

Cryptography: A Very Short Introduction

Current Playlist

Check out my Soundcloud profile for more music.


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The Dream Hooks Us Early


Ideas on pursuing our individual dreams, not the dreams of others. Learning to hear our inner voice to guide us toward them while filtering out the noise of modern society’s dream pushers.


Hi,

My wife and I are deep in the kindergarten public school search for our son. This is a particularly intense process in New York City.

It’s a priority-based lottery system. The priorities take into account zones, districts and siblings. For us, because we don’t want to send our son to our zoned school, it means lots of research, as well as many tours and applications.

We attended our first tour two weeks ago and our second this past week. I Tweeted this after the first tour -

Chris Remus

@cjremus

My wife and I attended our 1st NYC school tour today. I had a feeling the process to find our son's kindergarten would consume more time/attention than my college search process did. After today, I'm convinced of it 😬

10:00 PM - 13 Nov 2019

A follower I know well and enjoy interacting with on Twitter sent this reply -

Jehan

@JTremback

@cjremus If you screw up the NYC preschool search, your kid might never make it to Yale at all

10:59 PM - 13 Nov 2019

In return, I explained -

Chris Remus

@cjremus

@JTremback It's not about that for us. It's more about finding a safe, warm, welcoming and open-minded learning environment that doesn't push test scores as the "be all, end all", while not costing $$$$$$$$.

9:09 AM - 14 Nov 2019

Yet even through Yale isn’t the point for us, Jehan had a point. It’s been in my consciousness since then.

The comment got me thinking about how early The Dream catches us. For some, the on-ramp may be as early as kindergarten.

My sense is that once one enters the on-ramp, there’s no turning back. Life only starts moving faster the older we get. If not conscious about it, we gain momentum on The Dream’s slippery slope. We become increasingly invested in and focused on The Dream’s path.

As life gets busier and more complex, decisions become more automatic. The Dream Pushers like it this way. They claim to make the decisions easier. They do this by providing a well known and accepted path. We confuse this ease with stability and comfort.

Before we know it, The Dream is the only game in town. It’s the only path we see.

If we do happen to second-guess The Dream, we feel too invested to change course. The switching cost is too high. We have too many responsibilities.

We may tell ourselves that once we hit a certain Dream milestone, we’ll take the next exit off The Dream highway.

Yet when we reach that exit, we’re going so fast we fly right past it.

We hurdle toward the next milestone, then the next and then the one after that, at ever increasing speeds.

It’s my sense that this is one aspect of The Dream that give it such a powerful grasp on us.

How about you? When did you take The Dream’s on-ramp? What exit do you hope to take?

Let me know by responding directly to this email. I reply to every response.

Catch you next week,

Chris

Semi-Random Thoughts

This section hasn’t manifested the way I intended. By the time I get to it, I’m usually too burnt out to write anything.

I started a new blog to capture these thoughts instead. It’s a place I can write short posts in an unstructured way. If you’d like to follow-along, you can find and subscribe to it here. This section will be retired after today.

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Current Reading List

Keeping Your Child in Mind (A Merloyd Lawrence Book): Claudia M. Gold: 9780738214856: Amazon.com: Books

Keeping Your Child in Mind (A Merloyd Lawrence Book) [Claudia M. Gold] on Amazon.com. FREE shipping on qualifying offers.

Being understood by someone you love is one of the most powerful feelings, at all ages. For a young child

Permanent Record by Edward Snowden

Permanent Record book. Read 313 reviews from the world’s largest community for readers. NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLER Edward Snowden, the man who risked every…

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Nicky Siano - 9th March 2019 by Rinse FM | Free Listening on SoundCloud

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MH108 // Tim Deep [Feel The Bass] by Madhouse Records | Free Listening on SoundCloud

Stream MH108 // Tim Deep [Feel The Bass] by Madhouse Records from desktop or your mobile device.

VAULTS || Kerri Chandler Live @ GASM, London, Ladbroke Grove 1994 by Madhouse Records | Free Listening on SoundCloud

Stream VAULTS || Kerri Chandler Live @ GASM, London, Ladbroke Grove 1994 by Madhouse Records from desktop or your mobile device

Zanzibar House Music #1 by DJ Omar Abdallah | Free Listening on SoundCloud

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When Mornings Became More Important Than Evenings


Ideas on pursuing our individual dreams, not the dreams of others. Learning to hear our inner voice to guide us toward them while filtering out the noise of modern society’s dream pushers.


Hi,

I experienced a lot of pain before JRWI. Being on a path chasing The Dream, at odds with my true self, caused me immense levels of psychological, emotional and physical pain.

Looking back on those years, the pain is apparent to me now. It wasn’t so apparent to me then.

I was drinking heavily then. I understand now that I was drinking to numb myself to the pain I was feeling. Drinking worked for me for a while. Or at least I thought it did.

I started slowing down my drinking about five years ago. I didn’t set a conscious plan to stop. I did start a conscious plan to slow down.

It’s through the slowing down process that my mornings became more important than my evenings.

The evenings had been my drinking time. I paid the price by feeling crappy in the mornings. It was a trade-off I accepted and assumed was normal.

As I slowed the drinking, I increased cycling. It turns out my favorite time to ride is the early morning.

My wife and I were visiting her dad in the Baltimore suburbs. We attended her Dad’s birthday party the night before. He’s Ukrainian. That meant shots of vodka and cognac flowed freely. I didn’t get drunk but I did drink my fair share.

I woke early-ish the next morning to ride. It was spring. The weather was beautiful. The roads wound through farmlands with no traffic.

It was a great day and place to ride.

I felt hungover. I could barely ride. I had to cut the ride short.

I felt frustrated I had to quit the ride.

That ’s the day I realized my mornings were more important than my evenings.

A number of factors allowed me to stop drinking. Looking back though, this morning was a clear catalyst to do it.

I feel grateful for this experience. It’s allowed me to feel so much more complete. It’s allowed me to wake up at 5AM and write this issue before I start my cycling workout.

What types of pain do you experience? How do you handle it?

Does any of that pain come from chasing The Dream?

Let me know by responding directly to this email. I reply to every response.

Catch you next week,

Chris

Semi-Random Thoughts

I’m on the third day of my first 10 day ayurvedic cleanse. I tried and failed a shorter DIY version last spring. This time it seems to be going better.

I attribute a lot of the improvement to support from my Ayurvedic practitioner. I view this as another fortunate reminder of how helpful not going it alone can be at times 🙏

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Image by justrollingwithit

See more of justrollingwithit’s VSCO.

Current Reading List

Keeping Your Child in Mind (A Merloyd Lawrence Book): Claudia M. Gold: 9780738214856: Amazon.com: Books

Keeping Your Child in Mind (A Merloyd Lawrence Book) [Claudia M. Gold] on Amazon.com. FREE shipping on qualifying offers.

Being understood by someone you love is one of the most powerful feelings, at all ages. For a young child

Permanent Record by Edward Snowden

Permanent Record book. Read 313 reviews from the world’s largest community for readers. NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLER Edward Snowden, the man who risked every…

Current Playlist

MH108 // Tim Deep [Feel The Bass] by Madhouse Records | Free Listening on SoundCloud

Stream MH108 // Tim Deep [Feel The Bass] by Madhouse Records from desktop or your mobile device.

VAULTS || Kerri Chandler Live @ GASM, London, Ladbroke Grove 1994 by Madhouse Records | Free Listening on SoundCloud

Stream VAULTS || Kerri Chandler Live @ GASM, London, Ladbroke Grove 1994 by Madhouse Records from desktop or your mobile device

Zanzibar House Music #1 by DJ Omar Abdallah | Free Listening on SoundCloud

Stream Zanzibar House Music #1 by DJ Omar Abdallah from desktop or your mobile device

Tommy Bones - Live From 4-4 Studio's NYC Classic House Edition 05.02.18 by djtommybones | Tommy Bones | Free Listening on SoundCloud

Stream Tommy Bones - Live From 4-4 Studio’s NYC Classic House Edition 05.02.18 by djtommybones from desktop or your mobile device

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